Not All Reluctance is the Same
You’ve made a choice. You know what you want. You’ve set out confidently in the direction of making it happen and Bam! Something’s just not right.
Or is it?
Do you know the difference between a feeling that is truly trying to tell you that you are going down the wrong path, and a feeling that is a reaction to the change process itself? Do you?
Here’s what I find when I’m working with clients…and I’ve experienced this for myself too. When we make a decision, it’s true that the energetic forces begin to help move us in the direction of what we want. We become a powerful magnet from our clarity and desire, even more so when we get into some action.
But it’s also true that as we change to become the person who brings about our new results, that strange mechanism, often called “the drunk monkey”, “the ego critic”, “the gremlin” gets scared and can whip up one heck of a back lash; all in an effort to scare us back to where we began.
When we say “one step forward two steps back” this is what we’re talking about; the Resistance Factor.
Most people, I’ve found, think that this is an indicator that they are doing something wrong, because this “drunk monkey” can create such a vivid, not-good-feeling-feeling. But it’s just not true.
But you don’t have to believe me. Honestly think back to a time when you went through a significant change, and you’ll find a time within that journey when you doubted, worried, feared and your self-talk was not at all nice or supportive. No, that “drunk monkey’s” voice was probably bullying, critical, even punishing.
The Good News
The good news about that is that this very not-good-feeling-feeling was an indicator, an indicator that you were in the process of changing, of changing as you set out to change. Because if you weren’t changing, you wouldn’t be experiencing this self “kick-back”.
Do you see? This thing that feels “not-good” is actually the sign on the road that you are on the right track.
Now….
I want to be very clear. There is another feeling that can be misdiagnosed as Resistance (which, as we just discussed, is actually an indicator that we’re on the right track). That feeling doesn’t feel good either. But it surely has a powerful message for you about where you’re getting off track and how to get back on the right track.
The Tricky Part
Here’s the tricky part…I can’t tell you the difference between these two.
I can tell you there’s a difference. There always is. And you will feel these two things; one, Guidance, the other an indicator that you’re in the change, as different. But what you feel will be different from what I feel.
And that’s where many, many people are steered off track. They talk to someone who says something like “you’ll feel it in your gut….”. But really, that’s just the way that particular person feels it. You may feel it in a totally different way; probably will.
So What’s the Answer?
If I were working with you, I’d ask you to walk me back through a change you’ve experienced. We’d look at what you felt in a way you probably haven’t done before; looking for these two different feeling-energies. When we found the resistance, we’d work with supporting your change process in a way that lowered the volume on the resistance. When we found the Guiding Feeling, we’d work with it to get the message and get back on track to easy action.
You can do this for yourself. Or you can reach out and get help. Want help with assessing where you’re at and what a next step should be? Email me at thebeingcoach@gmail.com and ask for a 20 minute assessment. My 5 point guarantee insures that I will only recommend or refer if I think it can genuinely be of support and service to you and your goals.
“Rise to the challenge of bringing your dreams to life! Do not be discouraged by resistance, be nourished by it.
Success is the experience of rising to the level of your true greatness.”
Steve Maraboli
Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience