As we set out in the direction of new goals, we often find ourselves in uncharted territory. This can leave us grappling with feelings of excitement, and doubt &fear. This can spark a rollercoaster of emotions, leaving us wondering if we’ve made a mistake.
The Resistance Cycle™: A Universal Phenomenon
Speaking of….have you noticed that every time you make a change, you feel like you’re starting from scratch? Do you find yourself wondering if you’ve ever conquered a change before? And this, despite having overcome similar challenges in the past.
That sneaky Resistance!
The Ego and the Resistance Cycle™
This phenomenon is rooted in the Resistance Cycle™. Your internal identity (your ego) has created a container called “the status quo”. That Inner Judge and Critic will defend that container with all its might. That’s the Resistance you feel. This can make it difficult to accept inspired actions, new experiences, and fresh perspectives.
To muddy the waters further, that Critic will “make you forget” how you made it through in the past. It doesn’t want you to remember; that’s dangerous!
Sometimes we need help.
The Discomfort of Change: A Temporary But Necessary Evil
As we navigate the transition from “here” to “there”, we experience that tension, the discomfort of change. This can be unbearably uncomfortable. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated during this period. However, the discomfort is temporary and often a necessary step in the growth and change process. It helps to have an outside voice to remind you of your past success to cheer you on!
Building Resilience: Practicing Change
Suffering is not required for change. You may lose momentum. You may feel uncomfortable. It may be hard. But it is possible to nurture an attitude of “it’s happening” as opposed to “this doesn’t feel like it’s working”.
So, how can you build resilience and overcome the Resistance Cycle™? How can you gain perseverance and carry on to complete the change you want?
The answer lies in practicing tools to support your changes. Recognize the discomfort you feel for what it is; a landmark on the journey of change. Seek out and develop tools to get the ego-critic working with you instead of against you. This is the way you can move through and beyond the Resistance to your destination. And my mission is to help you do just that!
Here are several suggestions to help get you started:
- Develop mental and emotional awareness and resources to help you feel physically safe as you take new actions. This speaks to the Ego-Critic’s need to keep you safe.
- Practice self-reflection and make note of what is working, and what you are learning. This starts you orienting towards more of what you do want.
- Cultivate sources of support among like-minded individuals and folks you can trust to listen to you and see your goals as possible.
- Seek a “container” to support your change; a course, mastermind, powerpact, weekly meeting…a teacher, coach, therapist, or loving friend with a good ear.
There’s Hope
Allowing for the discomfort of change can ease and speed you back to the excitement of making progress. Staying flexible, and getting the support you need to keep going while noticing what is working can make a real difference; both in speed and ease.
Be sure you check out the other blog posts here that have additional tips and help to support you in practicing flexibility and perseverance in the face of the Resistance Cycle™
And let me know if I can help you. Reach out here on the website or in the comments and I will help you.
Comment below or email me at info@deborahivanoff.com to share.
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