A day of worry is more exhausting that a week of work!
It’s OK to Worry
There I said it! Admit it, you got kind of excited when you read that it was OK to worry, didn’t you?
Sure, because, most of us were actually taught to worry, as if that was a useful thing; as if that was the next step in what you needed to do to get what you wanted. We were usually taught this by our parents. But it could have come from someone else close to us, someone we didn’t know we were watching and learning from.
But then, we grew up. We read Abraham Hicks or any number of new age or new thoughts teachers. And we learned that worry was something to be avoided. We were taught that worry undermines our manifestations. We were taught that worry is a bad thing.
And so here we are. We feel worried about all the things, we want, that haven’t yet come into manifestation. But on top of that, we feel bad or make ourselves wrong because we are worrying!
Does this sound familiar? We were taught to worry. Then we were taught that worrying is bad. So now where does that leave us?
If you think I’m going to tell you go ahead and worry all you want, then you’re going to be disappointed.I’m pretty sure you already know or have been able to see that worrying, the way we’ve been taught to use it, being it’s victim, doesn’t really help any situation.
However I am going to talk about when it’s OK to worry. And I’m also going to help with some practical suggestions for how to use Worry in a better way when you don’t feel you can escape worry. I want to help you learn how to direct Worry and use it for good, your good.
3 Ways To Use Worry to Help You
I’m going to go more in depth with my favorite way to use Worry because I’ve found it so very valuable. But before I do I want to outline several ways Worry can actually be used in a helpful way.
1. Use Worry for Clarity
Worry point to what we don’t want. When we can practice Awareness and “catch ourselves” worrying, we have unique opportunity in that moment to see what we are entertaining in our energy, thoughts and actions. We can make a new choice consciously and affirm what that choice is so we stop running towards what we do not want.
2. Use Worry to Light a Fire of Desire to Fuel Momentum
This is not my favorite method of using Worry. In fact, it doesn’t work for me in the long run. But I have seen it work brilliantly in the lives of some of my clients and I have use it to create a quick burst, like rocket fuel when I needed to turn a situation around.
When Worry reaches a certain intensity, and consciously I can ignite a more active feeling like Courage and Determination, then some momentum is sure to follow.
3. Use Worry For Guidance And Advice
This is my favorite way to use Worry, and the one I most often use with my clients. It is the topic of the rest of this post and I hope you’ll follow along as I guide you in working with Worry so that it can complete it’s mission and leave.
When You Just Can’t Stop
Have you ever felt like, in spite of everything, you just could not stop worrying? There was simply no escaping from Worry? Me too!
Because I’ve studied how to use Worry, instead of try to mentally tough it out against it, I’ve found that there’s a Meaning and a Message that Worry can deliver, if we’ll only look. In our struggle to not worry, we miss the message. And Worry keeps coming back around and around trying to deliver that message, which is what makes it impossible to resist by simple force of will, as I’m guessing you have found.
Yes, there are an entire array of tools out in the world to deal with worry, and they all have their pros and cons.
Most suggestions for dealing with worry, are logical, rational, thinking solutions siting that Worry is just a “brain thing”. But that is not what I’ve found, have you? Can you “think” your way out of Worry?
The inherent problem with that idea is that Worry isn’t just a thought. It’s a complicated tangly of thoughts, emotions and even physical sensations. We’ve never been taught how to manage those systems consciously.
Our Emotions Have A Message
The feeling of worry, alone, is a complicated tangle of different emotions and while there may be an idea, belief or thought that triggered these emotions, it is the emotions that are controlling not only the brain, but the body as well, when Worry is unleashed.
You wouldn’t tell a person with their hand on a hot stove to “think” their way out of the pain. I hope you wouldn’t tell someone who has experienced a loss to “think” their way out of the grief?
The sensation of physical pain has a message; “pull your hand back”!
Our emotions have a message too. Worry has a message too.
Just as any one emotion is unique to us, so is the message that the tangle we know as Worry, unique for each of us.
So if you have been plagued by Worry, if you are suffering from Worry even now, here is an idea for you. As soon as you can create a few quiet moments for yourself away from others and distractions stop fighting the Worry.
Just for a few minutes stop fighting the Worry. Let the Worry be there. Allow yourself to feel the Worry in your body and just sit beside it. I know this can be scary often our bodies are afraid that Worry will overrun us. That it will never end. That it will hurt too much. But it’s the resistance that is hurting. It’s the resistance to the Worry, trying to push it away or hold it off, that is wearing us out.
I’m not asking you to amplify the Worry. I’m just suggesting that you be with what is there. When I do this, or I do it with my clients, what I notice is that there is an initial sensation somewhere in the body when the Worry is set free. But that sensation quickly eases or drains away. And what is left behind can be a feeling that’s even more uncomfortable if were not used to it. A feeling of emptiness or openness.
And that’s why so many of us over the years have become chronic worrier’s. If there’s any gap in our worrying, we feel this odd spaciousness, and we don’t know what to do with it.
The mind pegs anything different as dangerous.
And so the mind will reach back into the past to re-create the Worry over and over again just to feel the same, the usual so it can check the box that says “same = safe”.
Try It With Me
Set an intention for new wisdom and understanding. Consciously take a few moments to allow the feeling and sensation of Worry to just be with you.
Asking Worry to deliver it’s message, and allow it to go is like creating a reset point in our body, and mind, for that matter. But, where as we were taught to worry by those around us, we were never taught me how not to worry. By taking a moment and going deeper into the Worry rather than resisting it, we create a pathway to get out of the Worry, by allowing the Worry to do it’s job and gently go.
I hope you’ll do more than just read this. I hope you’ll try this and then let me know what your experience was like
Afraid to try it on your own? I understand. We all can use someone to “spot” us when we try new mastery gymnastics.
My free 7-day Worry No More Challenge is complete. But please do reach out and schedule a “Get To Know You” where we can talk about what you need next to escape any worry cycle you experience.